Peripheral Vision

So.. A little more about me.

I live in South Jersey with my partner Ron, our 2 cats Abby & Willow, our mini-schnauzer Holly and our evil pug Lucy. I have a pretty darn good life. We laugh a lot in our house and are both pretty silly guys. Ron is my best friend, but we also have a romance and chemistry, the likes of which I have never experienced before. While I don't claims to be the butchest guy in the world, I am for the most part the man of the house. My Ron is the diva.. and the self proclaimed Albert of our neighborhood (think The Birdcage).

I was in a long term relationship before Ron. My ex... lets call him Gomez. I was with Gomez for just about 8 years. The longer the relationship went on, the more I realized that the #1 reason I was staying in the relationship was because I thought ending it would mean that I had wasted all those years. I was going with the flow, trying to live the life that I ultimately wanted, and trying to make due with the relationship that I was in. We met at 20yo and the person I am now is far different than who I then. For the last year or so of our relationship I had asked him to go to counseling because I was not happy. He refused, saying that he didn't believe in counseling. In the interim, because I was going about life, living the best I could, we were also trying to adopt. After 2 1/2 years of waiting, we were finally matched with a birthmom. This was the pivotal moment for me because knowing how unhappy I was, ending the relationship after that point would mean not only breaking up Gomez and I, but splitting up a family. We ended our relationship and rejected the placement. The baby was placed with another waiting family and is happy and healthy. I kept the house and Gomez moved out of state. We do not speak, which is for the best.

I realize now that despite the relationship not being right, that I didn't waste those years. I learned a lot about who I am, what I want from a relationship, what I don't want, etc.. I strongly believe that everything we do in life molds the person that we are destined to become. This includes the good things and the bad. I am in a great place in life. I never thought I could be this happy, or this content.

Ron and I are getting married in October. Our ceremony will be at our Church and our reception at a local Country Club. I cannot wait. It's been a lot of fun to plan! We even bought a cheesy wedding dance DVD to help us learn all those lame wedding dances that normally we'd be too cool to do.. LOL. We are also officially adopting now. We've been approved for a few months. Once again, I find myself waiting to be matched with a birthmom. The difference this time (among other things) is that I am ok with waiting. Life is wonderful and I am ok with God (or fate) taking as long as necessary until we are placed with the daughter that we are meant to be parents to.

There's a saying that goes something like... you'll never get to where you're going without carrying the lessons you've learned from where you've already been. I like that saying.