Thinking too much...

To Our future little one,

I am your Papa and cannot wait until you find us. Your daddy and I have waited a long time for you. Right now your crib is filled with stuffed animals that will go on a shelf as soon as you come home to us. We'll rock you in the glider that's in the corner of your nursery and read you bedtime stories from the tons of books we've already bought for you.

I will be your embarassing Papa that always has a video camera handy. We will pull you in a bright red wagon and explore the town. When you're older we're going to take you to Storybook Land, Hershey Park and Disney World. We'll have family campouts in a tent in our backyard and lots of barbecues with friends and family and all the people that love you. We'll go to the zoo and down to the beach to build sandcastles. We'll take long walks in the country and we'll push you on the swings at the park.

I will teach you how to ride a bike and we can tease your daddy because he's not very good at it. You can help Daddy in the kitchen and he can tell stories about how I burn much of what I try to cook, but how he always eats it anyway. Someday we'll take you to the music store and you can try all the instruments and see if there's one you'd like to take lessons for. We'll volunteer and do things to help people who are less fortunate than we are. We'll go to Church and you'll get to go to Sunday School and we'll have your grandparents over for lunch on Sunday afternoons to play go fish and hear stories about how silly your parents were when they were your age.

We'll take the dogs for long walks, as long as you promise not to let go of one of our hands. At halloween you can dress up as anything you'd like and your Grandmom will make your costume every year with love. We'll pick pumpkins and teach you how to carve them and go on haunted hayrides.

Christmas is our favorite time of year and we know it will be yours too. You'll help Papa put up the outside decorations, as there seem to be more and more every year and when we're done decorating the tree in the livingroom, daddy will lift you up over his shoulders to put the Angel on top. And when you walk down the steps on Christmas morning and see all the goodies Santa has left for you and we see that smile and light in your eyes, it will be the best feeling in the world.

Please find us soon,
Love,
Your Daddy and Papa

Accentuate the Positive...

I haven't blogged in about 400 years. Mostly because I was feeling a little overexposed for a minute and needed to pull back a bit. I get that in putting my thoughts / business out into the world like this, I can't be surprised when people read it, but when people like to judge and talk shit for the very fact that I take the time to blog and express myself, my defenses go up. Ofcourse the same people that bust my balls behind my back for blogging are the same people that have nothing better to do than read my blog over and over and disect it. Bit I digress....

This boys and girls bring me to my topic for the evening.. Drumroll please... Negativity!

I hate negativity. Now let's be clear. We are all human. we all have good days and bad days. Lord know I have my share. But there are people in this world (you know who they are) who don't have a kind word to say about anyone. People that live for drama or to see you fail. These are the people that i would like to ship off to another planet.

It's funny because I am a fairly quiet person. I think a lot. I observe and listen a lot. I know that there are times when I should be more vocal and more communicative but I think there are a lot of people that could stand to be a little more silent and just watch and listen a bit more

On the negativity tip, we seem to be on the @sshole radar map for homophobes. If you've known me longer than 5 minutes you know that Ron and I are trying to adopt. Since the agency (in our opinion) doesn;t do nearly enough advertising, we do a lot on our own. We have profile on pretty much every social networking site, every pregnancy app & site, ads on craigslist, and even a chatroom that I maintain on AOL. In the last few weeks we've gotten an insurgance if hateful e mails and IM's. I have a little log of all of them just incase anything goes from online to real life. One of the messages even included a death threat. (and fyi the threat came from someone in the UK, so I am not overly concerned). But my point is... these people don't know me/ us from Adam. They live in different states and in some cases different countries but take time out of their day to communicate their disgust at us trying to have a family. (and btw half of these people spewing hate and threats at us do so in the name of their "Christianity").

Tonight on TV I was watching MTV's True Life: I want to be straight. these were gay youths (early 20s) who were tyring to live straight lives. Now most people with a minimum amount of common sense know that if you're gay... you're gay. This one girl who was caught "in the act" by her mom, was stabbed.. yes.. STABBED by her mom because due to her Christianity, she couldn't handle her daughter being with a woman. The young masn featured didn;t have quite as dramatic of a story but his family made it very clear that they didn't approve of him being gay and he was made to feel like an outcast. These 2 kids were trying to change who they were at their very core to make their families love and accept them. They call that love?

There is so much hostility and so much negativity. We all get sucked into it, myself included from time to time. Maybe if we all take a moment. Stop.. observe and listen to what's going on in the world around us. Maybe if we take a moment each day to bite our tongues before we say something bitchy or catty. maybe if we each say one nice thing about someone that me might ordinarily keep to ourselves. Maybe we could change the world?