I seem to blog less and less anymore so when I say ‘I haven’t blogged in forever’… the 4 people that read this are probably tired of me starting like that, but oh well…
I haven’t blogged in forever and that’s in part because in August we were blessed with our daughter Eleanor. Ellie is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me or to us as a family. I dreamed of becoming a father for so long and now that it’s happened I am enjoying every minute of it. I think I’ve fallen even more in love with Ron, by seeing him interact with our daughter. He is such a loving and nurturing person and seeing him with our girl just melts me…
And as most people already know, after it taking years to adopt and us intending to try again in a couple years, now that we have a daughter we were contacted by an old friend who is pregnant, and wants us to adopt the baby… And we are. So, we have a 4 month old right now and our son is due Jan 4th. To say that we are overjoyed would be the understatement of the year.
Imagine going from waking up each day feeling like you’ll never be a parent, when it’s something you’ve wanted your whole life, to not even 6 months later, having the complete family that you’ve always dreamed of. It’s simply amazing. I could not be more grateful.
I love my family!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Do you take this puppet?
So I got in the strangest debate I think I've ever had today.
If you haven't already seen it on the internet, there is a small but relentless petition going around that is trying to convince Sesame Street to have Bert and Ernie get married. Now if you're like me, the initial thought of this being an issue is silly. They're puppets... well, muppets to be exact and why would we need to label them as being gay and then go as far as to having them get hitched. I thought, 'dont we in the gay community have more important things to worry about?'
Then today a childhood classmate of mine posted the story to her facebook and mentioned how she thought how this was going way too far and how topics like these didn't belong on a program that is aimed at children. Her friends would continue to comment with more of the same only each comment seemed to get more aggressive and more hostile, especially after I tried to give show the other perspective.
The more comments I read, the more it occirred to me that yes... I did think that Bert and Ernie should get married!
Think of this. Sesame street does not merely teach kids the ABC's and 123's as of of these debaters pointed out. Through the years, this program has been responsible for helping to enlighten kids on issues from littering, bullying, babies being born and even death. So why not gay marriage.
The main point of those with whom I was debating was that homosexuality as a whole was a topic that not only should children not be exposed to, but that it should be a parents choice when to expose their children to the notion of a same sex couple. As if WE have a choice when to see or not see heterosexual couples? Ron and I often hold hands in public and more than a couple times we've had bitchy mothers huff and puff while covering their child's eyes walking past us. This is no different.
Making such a fuss about the idea of Bert and Ernie getting married is sending the message that there is something wrong with gay people and / or gay marriage. If that is your position, than so be it, but you cannot then say that you are a supporter of gay rights or a single gay person for that matter. When a 7 year old boy is intentionally sheltered from gay people, he grows up to have a negative perception of "gay". So whether he grows up to be straight and just becomes a huge homophobe (in all likelyhood) or he grows up to be gay himself and has a horrible self image and tougher time accepting himself, it will be in part because of the messages that his parents sent to him in childhood by 'sheltering' him from the very notion of homosexuality.
In addition, imagine a world where from a young age, childen see being gay as no big deal... They grow up learning that it is just another way to love and that some people happen to be gay and some don't. If we take that stigma away right in the beginning of childhood, imagine the kindof accepting children / young people we would be raising. When my sister was born, I was 17 years old and had come out. My sister grew up, never knowing me to be anything other than gay, SO, it was never an issue. It was just another part of who I was, like my hair color or height. THIS is how it should be.
And maybe you're one of those parents who think that it's your right when to talk to your children about such things. And you know what? Maybe you're right. BUT unfortunately, parents are not having those talks as a whole, so if educational programs want to step in where parents are failing, I say bravo!
I wish we as a people were at a place when we hear the word gay that we didn't so much hear gay mean '2 people of the same gender having sex', but rather 2 people who happen to be of the same sex being in love. Because that's what we're talking about here. LOVE. And if you haven't noticed, this world of ours could use a little more love in it.
If you haven't already seen it on the internet, there is a small but relentless petition going around that is trying to convince Sesame Street to have Bert and Ernie get married. Now if you're like me, the initial thought of this being an issue is silly. They're puppets... well, muppets to be exact and why would we need to label them as being gay and then go as far as to having them get hitched. I thought, 'dont we in the gay community have more important things to worry about?'
Then today a childhood classmate of mine posted the story to her facebook and mentioned how she thought how this was going way too far and how topics like these didn't belong on a program that is aimed at children. Her friends would continue to comment with more of the same only each comment seemed to get more aggressive and more hostile, especially after I tried to give show the other perspective.
The more comments I read, the more it occirred to me that yes... I did think that Bert and Ernie should get married!
Think of this. Sesame street does not merely teach kids the ABC's and 123's as of of these debaters pointed out. Through the years, this program has been responsible for helping to enlighten kids on issues from littering, bullying, babies being born and even death. So why not gay marriage.
The main point of those with whom I was debating was that homosexuality as a whole was a topic that not only should children not be exposed to, but that it should be a parents choice when to expose their children to the notion of a same sex couple. As if WE have a choice when to see or not see heterosexual couples? Ron and I often hold hands in public and more than a couple times we've had bitchy mothers huff and puff while covering their child's eyes walking past us. This is no different.
Making such a fuss about the idea of Bert and Ernie getting married is sending the message that there is something wrong with gay people and / or gay marriage. If that is your position, than so be it, but you cannot then say that you are a supporter of gay rights or a single gay person for that matter. When a 7 year old boy is intentionally sheltered from gay people, he grows up to have a negative perception of "gay". So whether he grows up to be straight and just becomes a huge homophobe (in all likelyhood) or he grows up to be gay himself and has a horrible self image and tougher time accepting himself, it will be in part because of the messages that his parents sent to him in childhood by 'sheltering' him from the very notion of homosexuality.
In addition, imagine a world where from a young age, childen see being gay as no big deal... They grow up learning that it is just another way to love and that some people happen to be gay and some don't. If we take that stigma away right in the beginning of childhood, imagine the kindof accepting children / young people we would be raising. When my sister was born, I was 17 years old and had come out. My sister grew up, never knowing me to be anything other than gay, SO, it was never an issue. It was just another part of who I was, like my hair color or height. THIS is how it should be.
And maybe you're one of those parents who think that it's your right when to talk to your children about such things. And you know what? Maybe you're right. BUT unfortunately, parents are not having those talks as a whole, so if educational programs want to step in where parents are failing, I say bravo!
I wish we as a people were at a place when we hear the word gay that we didn't so much hear gay mean '2 people of the same gender having sex', but rather 2 people who happen to be of the same sex being in love. Because that's what we're talking about here. LOVE. And if you haven't noticed, this world of ours could use a little more love in it.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground.
What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you become it? There was never one thing that I aspired to. Never that one thing that I enjoyed doing more than anything else. I sit here, at 32, still wondering what I will be when I grow up.
As a whole, I actually don't dislike doing collections. Now some of the drama that comes with the industry, that's a different story, but Collections as a whole has been good to me. It is not though, something I want to grow old doing.
I always loved the idea of owning my own business. But what kind? Several come to mind, but all a little too grandiose for my 'don't take big chances' personality. There is an OLD bank in the center of Merchantville that has been empty for years. It's a beautiful old building that has so much potential. I say to Ron all the time that if we ever hit it big that we would buy it and turn it into a dinner theatre. The building sold a few years ago and was bought by the town for 1 mil. Just a little out of our price range.
Last night we watched a documentary on the life and work of Jim Henson. (another of my random Amazon finds). This man has a love of art that parlayed into puppeteering, which turned into a multi million dollar business for him. How does that happen? Is it luck? Persistence? Why is it that some people manage to achieve their professional dreams and others will spend their lives in a cubicle?
Another part of me would like to go into politics. Nothing major but maybe a city councilperson and see where that goes... I would love to be able to look at my community and have the power to implement change where I think it's needed. Who wouldn't vote for a chubby, gay, middle class, activist minded, overly opinionated guy like me in office? I wonder if all of that would fit on my campaign sign?
Anywho... Chances are I very well might be one of the majority who spend life making my cubicle as tolerable as possible. And maybe that's ok. I have such a good life. I have an amazing Partner, wonderful friends and family, and hopefully one of these days children.
Maybe someday I will be in my office on the top floor of some huge building making important decisions while looking down on the world around me that I help run. Maybe not. But whether that happens for me or it doesn't, I am going to spend every day appreciateing the view from right here and remembering how lucky I am.
As a whole, I actually don't dislike doing collections. Now some of the drama that comes with the industry, that's a different story, but Collections as a whole has been good to me. It is not though, something I want to grow old doing.
I always loved the idea of owning my own business. But what kind? Several come to mind, but all a little too grandiose for my 'don't take big chances' personality. There is an OLD bank in the center of Merchantville that has been empty for years. It's a beautiful old building that has so much potential. I say to Ron all the time that if we ever hit it big that we would buy it and turn it into a dinner theatre. The building sold a few years ago and was bought by the town for 1 mil. Just a little out of our price range.
Last night we watched a documentary on the life and work of Jim Henson. (another of my random Amazon finds). This man has a love of art that parlayed into puppeteering, which turned into a multi million dollar business for him. How does that happen? Is it luck? Persistence? Why is it that some people manage to achieve their professional dreams and others will spend their lives in a cubicle?
Another part of me would like to go into politics. Nothing major but maybe a city councilperson and see where that goes... I would love to be able to look at my community and have the power to implement change where I think it's needed. Who wouldn't vote for a chubby, gay, middle class, activist minded, overly opinionated guy like me in office? I wonder if all of that would fit on my campaign sign?
Anywho... Chances are I very well might be one of the majority who spend life making my cubicle as tolerable as possible. And maybe that's ok. I have such a good life. I have an amazing Partner, wonderful friends and family, and hopefully one of these days children.
Maybe someday I will be in my office on the top floor of some huge building making important decisions while looking down on the world around me that I help run. Maybe not. But whether that happens for me or it doesn't, I am going to spend every day appreciateing the view from right here and remembering how lucky I am.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Thinking too much...
To Our future little one,
I am your Papa and cannot wait until you find us. Your daddy and I have waited a long time for you. Right now your crib is filled with stuffed animals that will go on a shelf as soon as you come home to us. We'll rock you in the glider that's in the corner of your nursery and read you bedtime stories from the tons of books we've already bought for you.
I will be your embarassing Papa that always has a video camera handy. We will pull you in a bright red wagon and explore the town. When you're older we're going to take you to Storybook Land, Hershey Park and Disney World. We'll have family campouts in a tent in our backyard and lots of barbecues with friends and family and all the people that love you. We'll go to the zoo and down to the beach to build sandcastles. We'll take long walks in the country and we'll push you on the swings at the park.
I will teach you how to ride a bike and we can tease your daddy because he's not very good at it. You can help Daddy in the kitchen and he can tell stories about how I burn much of what I try to cook, but how he always eats it anyway. Someday we'll take you to the music store and you can try all the instruments and see if there's one you'd like to take lessons for. We'll volunteer and do things to help people who are less fortunate than we are. We'll go to Church and you'll get to go to Sunday School and we'll have your grandparents over for lunch on Sunday afternoons to play go fish and hear stories about how silly your parents were when they were your age.
We'll take the dogs for long walks, as long as you promise not to let go of one of our hands. At halloween you can dress up as anything you'd like and your Grandmom will make your costume every year with love. We'll pick pumpkins and teach you how to carve them and go on haunted hayrides.
Christmas is our favorite time of year and we know it will be yours too. You'll help Papa put up the outside decorations, as there seem to be more and more every year and when we're done decorating the tree in the livingroom, daddy will lift you up over his shoulders to put the Angel on top. And when you walk down the steps on Christmas morning and see all the goodies Santa has left for you and we see that smile and light in your eyes, it will be the best feeling in the world.
Please find us soon,
Love,
Your Daddy and Papa
I am your Papa and cannot wait until you find us. Your daddy and I have waited a long time for you. Right now your crib is filled with stuffed animals that will go on a shelf as soon as you come home to us. We'll rock you in the glider that's in the corner of your nursery and read you bedtime stories from the tons of books we've already bought for you.
I will be your embarassing Papa that always has a video camera handy. We will pull you in a bright red wagon and explore the town. When you're older we're going to take you to Storybook Land, Hershey Park and Disney World. We'll have family campouts in a tent in our backyard and lots of barbecues with friends and family and all the people that love you. We'll go to the zoo and down to the beach to build sandcastles. We'll take long walks in the country and we'll push you on the swings at the park.
I will teach you how to ride a bike and we can tease your daddy because he's not very good at it. You can help Daddy in the kitchen and he can tell stories about how I burn much of what I try to cook, but how he always eats it anyway. Someday we'll take you to the music store and you can try all the instruments and see if there's one you'd like to take lessons for. We'll volunteer and do things to help people who are less fortunate than we are. We'll go to Church and you'll get to go to Sunday School and we'll have your grandparents over for lunch on Sunday afternoons to play go fish and hear stories about how silly your parents were when they were your age.
We'll take the dogs for long walks, as long as you promise not to let go of one of our hands. At halloween you can dress up as anything you'd like and your Grandmom will make your costume every year with love. We'll pick pumpkins and teach you how to carve them and go on haunted hayrides.
Christmas is our favorite time of year and we know it will be yours too. You'll help Papa put up the outside decorations, as there seem to be more and more every year and when we're done decorating the tree in the livingroom, daddy will lift you up over his shoulders to put the Angel on top. And when you walk down the steps on Christmas morning and see all the goodies Santa has left for you and we see that smile and light in your eyes, it will be the best feeling in the world.
Please find us soon,
Love,
Your Daddy and Papa
Monday, July 18, 2011
Accentuate the Positive...
I haven't blogged in about 400 years. Mostly because I was feeling a little overexposed for a minute and needed to pull back a bit. I get that in putting my thoughts / business out into the world like this, I can't be surprised when people read it, but when people like to judge and talk shit for the very fact that I take the time to blog and express myself, my defenses go up. Ofcourse the same people that bust my balls behind my back for blogging are the same people that have nothing better to do than read my blog over and over and disect it. Bit I digress....
This boys and girls bring me to my topic for the evening.. Drumroll please... Negativity!
I hate negativity. Now let's be clear. We are all human. we all have good days and bad days. Lord know I have my share. But there are people in this world (you know who they are) who don't have a kind word to say about anyone. People that live for drama or to see you fail. These are the people that i would like to ship off to another planet.
It's funny because I am a fairly quiet person. I think a lot. I observe and listen a lot. I know that there are times when I should be more vocal and more communicative but I think there are a lot of people that could stand to be a little more silent and just watch and listen a bit more
On the negativity tip, we seem to be on the @sshole radar map for homophobes. If you've known me longer than 5 minutes you know that Ron and I are trying to adopt. Since the agency (in our opinion) doesn;t do nearly enough advertising, we do a lot on our own. We have profile on pretty much every social networking site, every pregnancy app & site, ads on craigslist, and even a chatroom that I maintain on AOL. In the last few weeks we've gotten an insurgance if hateful e mails and IM's. I have a little log of all of them just incase anything goes from online to real life. One of the messages even included a death threat. (and fyi the threat came from someone in the UK, so I am not overly concerned). But my point is... these people don't know me/ us from Adam. They live in different states and in some cases different countries but take time out of their day to communicate their disgust at us trying to have a family. (and btw half of these people spewing hate and threats at us do so in the name of their "Christianity").
Tonight on TV I was watching MTV's True Life: I want to be straight. these were gay youths (early 20s) who were tyring to live straight lives. Now most people with a minimum amount of common sense know that if you're gay... you're gay. This one girl who was caught "in the act" by her mom, was stabbed.. yes.. STABBED by her mom because due to her Christianity, she couldn't handle her daughter being with a woman. The young masn featured didn;t have quite as dramatic of a story but his family made it very clear that they didn't approve of him being gay and he was made to feel like an outcast. These 2 kids were trying to change who they were at their very core to make their families love and accept them. They call that love?
There is so much hostility and so much negativity. We all get sucked into it, myself included from time to time. Maybe if we all take a moment. Stop.. observe and listen to what's going on in the world around us. Maybe if we take a moment each day to bite our tongues before we say something bitchy or catty. maybe if we each say one nice thing about someone that me might ordinarily keep to ourselves. Maybe we could change the world?
This boys and girls bring me to my topic for the evening.. Drumroll please... Negativity!
I hate negativity. Now let's be clear. We are all human. we all have good days and bad days. Lord know I have my share. But there are people in this world (you know who they are) who don't have a kind word to say about anyone. People that live for drama or to see you fail. These are the people that i would like to ship off to another planet.
It's funny because I am a fairly quiet person. I think a lot. I observe and listen a lot. I know that there are times when I should be more vocal and more communicative but I think there are a lot of people that could stand to be a little more silent and just watch and listen a bit more
On the negativity tip, we seem to be on the @sshole radar map for homophobes. If you've known me longer than 5 minutes you know that Ron and I are trying to adopt. Since the agency (in our opinion) doesn;t do nearly enough advertising, we do a lot on our own. We have profile on pretty much every social networking site, every pregnancy app & site, ads on craigslist, and even a chatroom that I maintain on AOL. In the last few weeks we've gotten an insurgance if hateful e mails and IM's. I have a little log of all of them just incase anything goes from online to real life. One of the messages even included a death threat. (and fyi the threat came from someone in the UK, so I am not overly concerned). But my point is... these people don't know me/ us from Adam. They live in different states and in some cases different countries but take time out of their day to communicate their disgust at us trying to have a family. (and btw half of these people spewing hate and threats at us do so in the name of their "Christianity").
Tonight on TV I was watching MTV's True Life: I want to be straight. these were gay youths (early 20s) who were tyring to live straight lives. Now most people with a minimum amount of common sense know that if you're gay... you're gay. This one girl who was caught "in the act" by her mom, was stabbed.. yes.. STABBED by her mom because due to her Christianity, she couldn't handle her daughter being with a woman. The young masn featured didn;t have quite as dramatic of a story but his family made it very clear that they didn't approve of him being gay and he was made to feel like an outcast. These 2 kids were trying to change who they were at their very core to make their families love and accept them. They call that love?
There is so much hostility and so much negativity. We all get sucked into it, myself included from time to time. Maybe if we all take a moment. Stop.. observe and listen to what's going on in the world around us. Maybe if we take a moment each day to bite our tongues before we say something bitchy or catty. maybe if we each say one nice thing about someone that me might ordinarily keep to ourselves. Maybe we could change the world?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Just a quicky
So last Thursday, Ron and I were Ambassadors for Dining Out for Life at the Pop Shop in Collingswood. Dining Out for Life is an Organization that Restaurants can sign up with where for that day, 33% of each check is donated to Aids Service organizations. The beneficiary for this particular year was the Dooley House. They are in Camden and largely focus on HIV and Aids affected babies and seniors. It’s a great cause. We had a great turnout and raised a lot of money. By the end of the night we were pooped!
Overall the night was a huge success. We did have one middle aged man and his friend sitting at the counter upset that we approached him about the cause. I knew it wasn’t going to go well when the first thing out of his mouth was “Ya know what I don’t like about you gay groups?” I quickly interrupted him and told him that this was not a gay organization persay but one who’s focus was on babies and seniors. He continued to tell me how he “loves to eat at chic-fila and how just because chic-fila is for the traditional American family that you gays are against them”. I was so annoyed. Ron whispered to me to remember why we were there so I politely as possible explained how he had been misinformed and how many gay groups / people boycott Chic-fila because they support organizations that make it their mission to attack and oppress us. He gave an “Oh, ok” and that was the end of it. I HATE when people have a strong conviction or opinion when they have no idea what they’re talking about.
Over the weekend, we mostly laid low and did house / yard work. It was a much needed exhale from a non-stop week.
Yesterday on the way to work I heard about Osama’s killing on the radio. I was surprised that it has gotten as big of a response as it has. Yes he was the mastermind behind 9/11, but as another blogger wrote, Osama is dead but Al Queda is not. I know that the world is a MUCH better place without Osama Bin Laden in it, and I believe that he was an evil person, but it’s interesting to me how the average person who knows very little about politics, world affairs or even the details of 9/11 is so into this one mans killing. It’s that “get er done” kindof mentality that I don’t quite get. And then to have all the right wing radio and tv personalities, before the body was even cold start with the “Obama is trying to take all the credit for this and so on”… Those posts are already on facebook. I don’t recall Obama taking credit for this or saying “look what I did”… He thanked the soldiers, as he should have.
Overall the night was a huge success. We did have one middle aged man and his friend sitting at the counter upset that we approached him about the cause. I knew it wasn’t going to go well when the first thing out of his mouth was “Ya know what I don’t like about you gay groups?” I quickly interrupted him and told him that this was not a gay organization persay but one who’s focus was on babies and seniors. He continued to tell me how he “loves to eat at chic-fila and how just because chic-fila is for the traditional American family that you gays are against them”. I was so annoyed. Ron whispered to me to remember why we were there so I politely as possible explained how he had been misinformed and how many gay groups / people boycott Chic-fila because they support organizations that make it their mission to attack and oppress us. He gave an “Oh, ok” and that was the end of it. I HATE when people have a strong conviction or opinion when they have no idea what they’re talking about.
Over the weekend, we mostly laid low and did house / yard work. It was a much needed exhale from a non-stop week.
Yesterday on the way to work I heard about Osama’s killing on the radio. I was surprised that it has gotten as big of a response as it has. Yes he was the mastermind behind 9/11, but as another blogger wrote, Osama is dead but Al Queda is not. I know that the world is a MUCH better place without Osama Bin Laden in it, and I believe that he was an evil person, but it’s interesting to me how the average person who knows very little about politics, world affairs or even the details of 9/11 is so into this one mans killing. It’s that “get er done” kindof mentality that I don’t quite get. And then to have all the right wing radio and tv personalities, before the body was even cold start with the “Obama is trying to take all the credit for this and so on”… Those posts are already on facebook. I don’t recall Obama taking credit for this or saying “look what I did”… He thanked the soldiers, as he should have.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Don't mess with a hungry chubby person
So today 4/18 starts a new diet. Well, we’re not really calling it a diet but moreso a change in the way we’re living. If you’ve known me for a while you know that my weight has always yo-yo’d. For my whole life, my weight has long been my biggest frustration. I will gain weight, lose it, feel better about myself and gain it right back. I know I’m not alone in feeling like this, but with weightloss, it always feels like it’s harder for you ‘than’ it is for the rest of the world. SO, we went foodshopping this weekend buying lots of chicken, fish, and other good meats and lots of veggies and brown rice. We’ve gotten into the horrible habit if eating out 3-4 times / week and that is certainly not helping things. I know this isn’t the most interesting thing for me to blog about, but if I put it on here, I’m more likely to stick with it….. We had a really nice weekend. We were on on Friday with the intention of taking a ride down to the boardwalk but since it felt like it was about 30 degrees out, we stuck around our neck of the woods. We hit up the Amish Market and Columbus Mart and had dinner with great friends. Saturday evening we went to a bachelorette party at the nightclub Sisters. We had a great time. We had some drinks… and danced a whole lot. Then on Sunday Ron cleaned and cooked us some healthy meals for the week and I worked in the yard for what seemed like days… Two things of interest right now. Facebook recently removed a picture of a gay couple kissing and sent a message to the owner citing that the picture was found to be objectionable and therefore was removed. Is facebook drawing a line in the sand with regards to social issues? Hmmm… I’m curious to see where that story goes. Also, I read an article this morning on cnn.com about gay families and how in most metropolitan areas how most people were less surprised or concerned about a gay family living next door to them than ever before. As always, I love to read the comments. Most of the comments were along the lines of “We’re tired of reading about gay people, why is so much attention given to such a small segment of the population”…. That makes me chuckle because for one… they read the article. They want to complain about having ‘gay related stories’ thrust at them but they continue to read them. (this is not unlike people who like to judge my blog but still read it every time I post… but I digress). The reason us gays are so loud, have such big mouths and in general make a stink about things are because the people on the other side of the fence have most of the power and have oppressed and abused us. Now we have a voice… One that grows louder every day. And to those small minded, bible thumping, knuckle draggers, I say… be afraid…. Very afraid… because times are changing… whether you like it or not. Peace. 
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Soapboxy Goodness
So we’ve been himing and hawing about taking a roadtrip in May. We need to clear the dust off the tires and get away from Jersey and our day to day responsibilities for a couple days. We were originally going to go to Dollywood. The place looks really fun and campy which ofcourse is right up our alley. After talking about it publicly a few times and getting a few reactions like “oh God, those mountain people will kill ya”… We’re deciding to put Dollywood on the back burner for now and instead going to DC for a couple days. We’ve been wanting to get down to the museums forever and do the touristy thing. We’re really looking forward to it. I’ve been reading a lot about the Kobe Bryant gay slur thing. I really find the whole story fascinating. What’s most interesting to me is when you read this story on any news website, the comments from readers are just horrible. Most of the wanna-be tough guys on there spout off their hateful rhetoric and crying out in support for this man who did nothing except use a gay slur in a moment of anger, teaching millions of kids and young adults watching that this is acceptable behavior. I call them “wanna-be” tough guys because most of them would never speak up like that publicly. Kobe Bryant makes millions of dollars and whether he wants to be or not, is infact a role model for youth. He has a responsibility to behave like a role model should. Aside from all that… an athlete on the court is at WORK… Imagine a teacher using a slur like this is a classroom… or a waitress in the middle of a restaurant. You are working and need to be held accountable for your actions. For that full story click here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/SPORT/04/13/bryant.nba.fine/index.html Another story that has interested me recently is the J Crew ad in which a mother is painting her sons nails pink. Now if you haven’t heard about this, the little boy begged his mom to paint his nails and it was photographed as kindof a “it’s ok to be yourself” commentary. The photo was then used as J Crew ad which is where the mother works. The conservative and Christian communities were immediately outraged calling this child abuse and judging this poor boy and his mom for their decision. It kills me to think that something so trivial is such a big deal to so many people in this world. #1, don’t you have more important things to worry about in your life? And #2 we (most of us) try to teach kids to accept other peoples’ differences and to respect them and here we have a situation of a little boy wanting to express himself and “adults” are attacking him. I call them bullies. And when young people all over this world kill themselves for feeling different and persecuted for being different (in any way) it’s because of people like them. Why is it acceptable in our society for girls to display ‘masculinity’ (supposed masculinity) but if a boy shows the slightest bit of femininity, he is persecuted. It’s crazy. For a blurb on that read: http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/13/shocking-pink-mom-paints-boys-toenails-in-j-crew-ad/?iref=allsearch Anyway… Off my soapbox for now. Later gators. 
Monday, April 11, 2011
My love turns 31
Is it Monday already? This weekend just flew by. Friday night we went to the Tortilla Press, made a quick stop at the store and then went to the movies. While checking out at the store, we were behind a mother and her children. She was about my age and has 4 kids under the age of 8 and another on the way. She was so nasty to her kids, it was so sad. She was one of those people obviously took no joy in being a mother. She spoke to them like she hated them. She was really going off on her one daughter who was apparently named ‘Dijon’… So on top of being a crappy mother, she names her kids after condiments… Go figure… After that ordeal we went to the movies. All week Ron talked about wanting to see Insidious. I can get into horror movies, but I don’t like the super suspenseful type where you’re on the edge of your seat the whole time waiting for something to jump out at you… So, I punked out and we saw separate movies. Which, by the way to husbands out there… no matter how many times your spouse says they are ok with that… they’re not. Trust me! Anywho, while Ron saw Insidious, I saw Source Code. It was just ok. Saturday morning we had a yardsale. We were relieved that the weather cleared up and aside form it being a little chilly in the morning, it was a nice day. All went well with the yardsale except for a middle-eastern woman (who actually lives a few blocks down the street) who tried to shoplift from us. Does that take balls or what? Saturday night we had Ron’s family over to celebrate his birthday. Sunday afternoon we wanted to go to the movies. We went to the Moorestown Mall. Before the movies, we popped into the store Spencer’s. We felt so old going into that store. Not only is it full of merchandise with catch phrases that we didn’t understand, but most of the merchandise was so raunchy. Don’t get me wrong, we are no prudes… but I prefer that kindof stuff a little more subtle… Everything in there just hit you over the head. It was gross. We went and saw Hanna, which I have been dieing to see. It was good… not great, but good. Then we went to my moms at night for some burgers and dogs and bday cake. Tonight we’ll be going to The Pub on 130. I have never been there but everyone says it’s great. Today is Ron’s actual birthday. I want to wish a happy birthday to the silliest, sassiest, most loving and supportive person I have ever met. Without whom, my life was gray and silent, and because of whom, my life is now full of color, laughter and intense love. 
Friday, April 1, 2011
Friday Night Lights
I usually blog early in the morning before my workday starts but I've had a lot on my mind today so felt like writing. Next week I have an important Doctors appt (nothing life threatening) as well as our homestudy update for the adoption. We're going on 17 months of waiting and I (the impatient one with the control issues) have now made a Facebook page to help promote our adoption. We even have a low budget ad running to help promote the page. It can't hurt and it keeps me busy. That page is not connected in any way to my personal facebook page, nor will it be since if we were to meet a birthmom through Facebook, we wouldn't want our Last name known. That's a no-no in the adoption world. Also in the realm of trying to keep busy with positive things I've decided that I want to / I want us to volunteer more. I love volunteerism and it's something that forever ago, I was really into. Ron did quite a bit of volunteering too in years past. There is an organization called Dining Out for Life that Ron has worked with in the past. You can sign up with them to basically host an evening at a Restaraunt, invite friends and family to dine there and then the establishment donates a portions of their proceeds from the event to help fund Aids service organizations. We'll be hosting on Thursday 4/28 at The Pop Shop in Collingswood. Check out http://www.diningoutforlife.com/ I've also been all about compiling a list of goals. Call it a bucket list if you will but I'm just not getting any younger and there are things that I want to do that I always talk about doing someday... but never do. Lord knows I am a list-maker and once it's on a list.. it must get done. This includes anything from cooking classes to learning another language, reading atleast a book a month and continuing my education in one way or another. Anywho... That's all for now. Waking up early in the am for errands and some yardwork. Have a great weekend! 
Thursday, March 31, 2011
tracy chapman - unsung psalm
There would be psalms sung by a choir
I would have a white robe a halo newly acquired
I'd be at peace and I'd have no desire
If I'd lived right
There would be cherubs with tiny harps arrows and bows
I'd have a halo and a flowing white robe
I'd be enfolded by a celestial light
If I'd lived right
But I'm feeling hot and bothered under the collar
I feel the sweat breaking out on my brow
I feel the heat and I know it's the passion
The love I can't disavow
If this is a dream wake me up now
If this is a movie let's edit these scenes out
It would be a PG instead of an X-rated life
If I'd lived right
Some would call me a cheat call me a liar
Say that I've been defeated by the basest desires
Yes I have strayed and succumbed to my vices
But I tried to live right
But I have no regrets no guilts in my heart
I only feel sadness for any pain that I've caused
I guess I wouldn't bother to worry at all
If I'd lived right
Do you live by the book do you play by the rules?
Do you care what is thought by others about you?
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the future the present the past?
If there is one thing I know I know I will die
If anyone cares some stranger may critique my life
I may be revered or defamed and decried
But I tried to live right
There would be psalms sung by a choir
I would have a white robe a halo newly acquired
I'd be at peace and I'd have no desire
If I'd lived right
I would have a white robe a halo newly acquired
I'd be at peace and I'd have no desire
If I'd lived right
There would be cherubs with tiny harps arrows and bows
I'd have a halo and a flowing white robe
I'd be enfolded by a celestial light
If I'd lived right
But I'm feeling hot and bothered under the collar
I feel the sweat breaking out on my brow
I feel the heat and I know it's the passion
The love I can't disavow
If this is a dream wake me up now
If this is a movie let's edit these scenes out
It would be a PG instead of an X-rated life
If I'd lived right
Some would call me a cheat call me a liar
Say that I've been defeated by the basest desires
Yes I have strayed and succumbed to my vices
But I tried to live right
But I have no regrets no guilts in my heart
I only feel sadness for any pain that I've caused
I guess I wouldn't bother to worry at all
If I'd lived right
Do you live by the book do you play by the rules?
Do you care what is thought by others about you?
If this day is all that is promised to you
Do you live for the future the present the past?
If there is one thing I know I know I will die
If anyone cares some stranger may critique my life
I may be revered or defamed and decried
But I tried to live right
There would be psalms sung by a choir
I would have a white robe a halo newly acquired
I'd be at peace and I'd have no desire
If I'd lived right
Friday, March 25, 2011
Being in Collections...
10 Things your Bill Collector would like to say but can’t
1. About your answering machine… no one wants to hear your cover of your favorite gospel song, nor is anyone amused by your “Hello? Hello? Hello? Just kidding… I’m not home right now” message.
2. Hanging up or ignoring me does not make me or your problems in general go away.
3. When you tell me to get a “real job” I laugh on the inside because atleast I can pay my bills each month.
4. Telling me to go fuck myself and then ending the call with a “have a blessed day” doesn’t make you a very nice person.
5. You spoke English when you filled out a credit application, it’s odd how you’ve forgotten how to speak it now that it’s time to pay.
6. Yes bad things do happen to good people… and concoursely good things happen to bad people too.
7. When your mortgage is 200/month and your car payment is 900/m you may want to reevaluate your priorities.
8. You are not a stone or a turnip and I am not looking for blood but thank you for being the 20th person to say that to me today.
9. I hear how angry you are that the government only gives you $1,000/month in assistance. They don’t give me anything… imagine how I feel…
10. I understand that it’s 8 o’clock in the morning but if I have to be up this early to discuss your bills, then so do YOU.
1. About your answering machine… no one wants to hear your cover of your favorite gospel song, nor is anyone amused by your “Hello? Hello? Hello? Just kidding… I’m not home right now” message.
2. Hanging up or ignoring me does not make me or your problems in general go away.
3. When you tell me to get a “real job” I laugh on the inside because atleast I can pay my bills each month.
4. Telling me to go fuck myself and then ending the call with a “have a blessed day” doesn’t make you a very nice person.
5. You spoke English when you filled out a credit application, it’s odd how you’ve forgotten how to speak it now that it’s time to pay.
6. Yes bad things do happen to good people… and concoursely good things happen to bad people too.
7. When your mortgage is 200/month and your car payment is 900/m you may want to reevaluate your priorities.
8. You are not a stone or a turnip and I am not looking for blood but thank you for being the 20th person to say that to me today.
9. I hear how angry you are that the government only gives you $1,000/month in assistance. They don’t give me anything… imagine how I feel…
10. I understand that it’s 8 o’clock in the morning but if I have to be up this early to discuss your bills, then so do YOU.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
It takes a village
What happened to kids?
This past Sunday, we went with some friends to the Philadelphia Flower Show and then out to a late lunch / early dinner to Maggiano’s in the city. The Flower Show, despite being crowded, was fun and Maggiano’s food was fantastic. On our way from dinner to the train, a group of about 5 kids were riding their bikes down the sidewalk. They were popping wheelies and being really disrespectful of all of the people trying to walk down the sidewalk. One child, while trying to do a trick rode into his friend and they both fell. Without skipping a beat, the kid who was not at fault started beating the hell out of the other kid. Once done and they both got up and started to limp towards their bikes, my friend said to the one boy “Are you ok?” to which he replied: “Don’t fucking talk to me lady… you don’t fucking know me” and they grabbed their bikes and rode away. These boys were no older than 10.
I think it would be naïve to think that this was an isolated incident. There’s that cliché that people always think that children of a lesser generation are less respectful than the kids of their generation and I guess this is just another case of that. But I think this is more than that. I think children are reaching a tipping point.
The timeframe in which kids get to be “kids” is getting smaller and smaller. Children nowadays are treated like little adults. Clothing, music and tv programs aimed at kids are all far more “mature” then they used to. A lot of parents don’t raise their kids anymore. They let TV or ‘pop culture’ raise their kids. They don’t teach them morals or respect and then wonder why kids are so bad nowadays. I’ve also noticed that most parents don’t see faults with their own kids. There is an air to them of ‘well, MY child isn’t like that so I don’t have to be concerned. What they don’t realize is that half the time, YES… it is your child who is acting like that.
Yesterday I was driving through Cherry Hill and a school bus was dropping off grade school kids (maybe about 6th grade) and a bunch of boys were hanging out the school bus window calling this girl who just got off a “fat whore”… She was giving it right back but had that look like it was taking everything she had not to cry. Ofcourse, the school bus driver was doing nothing. As I passed them I realized that I didn’t do anything either.
They say it takes a village to raise children. I am part of this village and if you’re reading this, then so are you. So what responsibility do we have do kids out there? If we see horrible behavior what responsibility do we have to step in? Because at the end of the day, while they might not be OUR kids that are ‘acting up’… this is ‘our village’.
This past Sunday, we went with some friends to the Philadelphia Flower Show and then out to a late lunch / early dinner to Maggiano’s in the city. The Flower Show, despite being crowded, was fun and Maggiano’s food was fantastic. On our way from dinner to the train, a group of about 5 kids were riding their bikes down the sidewalk. They were popping wheelies and being really disrespectful of all of the people trying to walk down the sidewalk. One child, while trying to do a trick rode into his friend and they both fell. Without skipping a beat, the kid who was not at fault started beating the hell out of the other kid. Once done and they both got up and started to limp towards their bikes, my friend said to the one boy “Are you ok?” to which he replied: “Don’t fucking talk to me lady… you don’t fucking know me” and they grabbed their bikes and rode away. These boys were no older than 10.
I think it would be naïve to think that this was an isolated incident. There’s that cliché that people always think that children of a lesser generation are less respectful than the kids of their generation and I guess this is just another case of that. But I think this is more than that. I think children are reaching a tipping point.
The timeframe in which kids get to be “kids” is getting smaller and smaller. Children nowadays are treated like little adults. Clothing, music and tv programs aimed at kids are all far more “mature” then they used to. A lot of parents don’t raise their kids anymore. They let TV or ‘pop culture’ raise their kids. They don’t teach them morals or respect and then wonder why kids are so bad nowadays. I’ve also noticed that most parents don’t see faults with their own kids. There is an air to them of ‘well, MY child isn’t like that so I don’t have to be concerned. What they don’t realize is that half the time, YES… it is your child who is acting like that.
Yesterday I was driving through Cherry Hill and a school bus was dropping off grade school kids (maybe about 6th grade) and a bunch of boys were hanging out the school bus window calling this girl who just got off a “fat whore”… She was giving it right back but had that look like it was taking everything she had not to cry. Ofcourse, the school bus driver was doing nothing. As I passed them I realized that I didn’t do anything either.
They say it takes a village to raise children. I am part of this village and if you’re reading this, then so are you. So what responsibility do we have do kids out there? If we see horrible behavior what responsibility do we have to step in? Because at the end of the day, while they might not be OUR kids that are ‘acting up’… this is ‘our village’.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Everything and Nothing.
I’ve had everything and nothing on my mind recently. Lots to think about but nothing really blogworthy… or I will write something, read it and realize that it’s way too personal to put out there. Even I have limits. So in the grand tradition of randomness, I give you a few blurbs of Mike-thought.
What happened to TV? I know that people always say that “morrals” and what pass as entertainment declines from generation to generation but while flicking through the channels the other night and trying to watch 5 minutes of ‘Jersey Shore’. How do people watch that trash? And then changing the channel and viewing ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’. How do you not know that you’re pregnant? How do you not have SOME kindof clue that might make you wonder. And then to birth your baby in a TOILET and then want to air your stupidity and humiliation on tv? Are you serious? Ughh.
NEXT…
I have always tried to see the best in people… Even people I don’t care for. This sounds like a good thing, but at the end of the day when I am dealing with an “enemy” and they are looking for ways to take me down, I sit there struggling with the duality of “sure they might be a bigot but they seem like a good parent”. It’s silly and definitely a trait I am trying to work on getting control of.
NEXT…
I am gay. Being gay, while certainly not the only thing that describes me, is certainly one of the most important, as far as I am concerned. There is no other part of *me* that will have more involvement as to how I am seen and treated in the life. It took me a long time to accept myself… truly accept myself and I wouldn’t change anything if I could. All that being said, I don’t want to be valued by people primarily just because I am gay. I don’t want to be anyone’s token gay friend. I don’t want to be a token anything.
NEXT…
Spring is in the air and I CANNOT WAIT to get outside, do a little bbq’ing, feel the grass between my toes and feel the sun on my face.
Have a good day peeps. Happy Friday!
What happened to TV? I know that people always say that “morrals” and what pass as entertainment declines from generation to generation but while flicking through the channels the other night and trying to watch 5 minutes of ‘Jersey Shore’. How do people watch that trash? And then changing the channel and viewing ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’. How do you not know that you’re pregnant? How do you not have SOME kindof clue that might make you wonder. And then to birth your baby in a TOILET and then want to air your stupidity and humiliation on tv? Are you serious? Ughh.
NEXT…
I have always tried to see the best in people… Even people I don’t care for. This sounds like a good thing, but at the end of the day when I am dealing with an “enemy” and they are looking for ways to take me down, I sit there struggling with the duality of “sure they might be a bigot but they seem like a good parent”. It’s silly and definitely a trait I am trying to work on getting control of.
NEXT…
I am gay. Being gay, while certainly not the only thing that describes me, is certainly one of the most important, as far as I am concerned. There is no other part of *me* that will have more involvement as to how I am seen and treated in the life. It took me a long time to accept myself… truly accept myself and I wouldn’t change anything if I could. All that being said, I don’t want to be valued by people primarily just because I am gay. I don’t want to be anyone’s token gay friend. I don’t want to be a token anything.
NEXT…
Spring is in the air and I CANNOT WAIT to get outside, do a little bbq’ing, feel the grass between my toes and feel the sun on my face.
Have a good day peeps. Happy Friday!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Randomness
Inspired by my pal over at The Cuteness of Curiosity...
Here are 13 interesting and not so interesting random things about me.
1. I can enjoy a good horror movie but only at home and watched in the daylight. 30 Days of Night is one of my faves. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389722/
2. If I were stranded on a desert island and could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be Nutty Bars… you know the peanut butter-chocolaty wafer things made by Little Debbie… I think they should be their own food group!
3. I had little to no interest in video games as a kid but in adulthood bought myself an original Nintendo … mostly so I can occasionally play Tetris, Donkey Kong Jr, and Super Mario Bros.
4. When I was 18 I worked briefly at one of those pyramid scheme places selling AT&T long distance. One day they had a “poetry contest” as a teambuilding thing. I insisted on going first reading a gut-wrenching poem I wrote at age 15 about struggling with my sexuality. After some awkward applause everyone else went and read their cheesy “I love my job” type poems. I guess I missed the point of the exercise. LOL. It was so embarrassing.
5. I have social anxiety disorder. Going to the mall by myself send me into a major panic attack.
6. I smoked heavily from age 17 – 25. I was up to a pack and a half / day when I quit. Now, at 32, I still occasionally crave a cigarette.
7. I am very allergic to bees, but have never had an epi-pen.
8. During the warm months, we go to the drive-in movies almost every week. We’ll see movies there that we normally wouldn’t be that into just because it’s at the drive-in. Check out www.delseadrive-in.com
9. I am a sucker for a liverwurst and ketchup sandwich. Yum!
10. My very first job was as a busboy at Richman’s Icecream Restaurant that used to be on Kings Highway in Cherry Hill. It was a crappy, gross job.
11. I love thrift shops. I’ve found all kinds of treasures there.
12. I am terrified of heights. Subsequently I do not fly and hate rollercoasters.
13. I won’t go on the beach during the day but I love it at night… especially on a starry night.
Here are 13 interesting and not so interesting random things about me.
1. I can enjoy a good horror movie but only at home and watched in the daylight. 30 Days of Night is one of my faves. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389722/
2. If I were stranded on a desert island and could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be Nutty Bars… you know the peanut butter-chocolaty wafer things made by Little Debbie… I think they should be their own food group!
3. I had little to no interest in video games as a kid but in adulthood bought myself an original Nintendo … mostly so I can occasionally play Tetris, Donkey Kong Jr, and Super Mario Bros.
4. When I was 18 I worked briefly at one of those pyramid scheme places selling AT&T long distance. One day they had a “poetry contest” as a teambuilding thing. I insisted on going first reading a gut-wrenching poem I wrote at age 15 about struggling with my sexuality. After some awkward applause everyone else went and read their cheesy “I love my job” type poems. I guess I missed the point of the exercise. LOL. It was so embarrassing.
5. I have social anxiety disorder. Going to the mall by myself send me into a major panic attack.
6. I smoked heavily from age 17 – 25. I was up to a pack and a half / day when I quit. Now, at 32, I still occasionally crave a cigarette.
7. I am very allergic to bees, but have never had an epi-pen.
8. During the warm months, we go to the drive-in movies almost every week. We’ll see movies there that we normally wouldn’t be that into just because it’s at the drive-in. Check out www.delseadrive-in.com
9. I am a sucker for a liverwurst and ketchup sandwich. Yum!
10. My very first job was as a busboy at Richman’s Icecream Restaurant that used to be on Kings Highway in Cherry Hill. It was a crappy, gross job.
11. I love thrift shops. I’ve found all kinds of treasures there.
12. I am terrified of heights. Subsequently I do not fly and hate rollercoasters.
13. I won’t go on the beach during the day but I love it at night… especially on a starry night.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Losing my Religion.
I’ve been at odds recently over my religion… Not my ‘faith’ mind you, but my religion. Like I’ve discussed previously, I am Episcopalian… The Episcopal Church as a whole has always been leaps and bounds ahead of other “Christian” Churches regarding gay issues, women’s issues, etc. An exclamation on that point was the Episcopal Church of NJ’s allowing Gay Marriages (Civil Unions) to be performed in the Church. I know our wedding, which meant the world to us, was even more special because it took place within our Church. My issue though is that no matter how much I tout my pride in being Episcopalian… that when it comes down to it, I am a Christian.
Now, being the dork that I am, I enjoy reading news from all different websites. I read the news on what would be considered to be more liberal sources as well as more conservative. And yes, I even read the news on the Christian Coalition’s website…. Not because I agree with them on anything but moreso I’m fascinated how people on opposing sides see the same story so differently.
It never ceases to amazes me that despite so many of the stories, blogs and comments I read being so extreme, that the most extreme, the most hateful and mean are usually from the “Christian” perspective. Some of these people are down right evil. Notice my quotes around the word Christian, because my thought has long been that the most outspoken “Christians” are the least Christ-like. I don’t and can’t blame Christianity for this ignorance, rather that weak and hateful people shield themselves behind their “faith” in order to excuse their prejudice.
Think for a moment all of the “Christian” time and money spent on trying prevent gay couples from being able to marry or adopt children. Think about them not trying to meddle into private familial decisions concerning women’s reproductive rights. Instead, think of all of that time and money being used to provide food and shelter to the homeless, or to aid a battered women’s shelter. Imagine if they used their time and energy for causes that promoted positivity and growth as opposed to just repression and trying to control how others’ lead their lives.
If there is a God, and I believe there is, I believe he would want to find a way to bring people… all different kinds of people… to his table, not figure out way to turn people away.
Many have turned away from the Church, choosing to label themselves spiritual, not religious. Maybe they have the right idea. I’m not at that point yet and who knows if I will get there, but I certainly understand the inclination.
Now, being the dork that I am, I enjoy reading news from all different websites. I read the news on what would be considered to be more liberal sources as well as more conservative. And yes, I even read the news on the Christian Coalition’s website…. Not because I agree with them on anything but moreso I’m fascinated how people on opposing sides see the same story so differently.
It never ceases to amazes me that despite so many of the stories, blogs and comments I read being so extreme, that the most extreme, the most hateful and mean are usually from the “Christian” perspective. Some of these people are down right evil. Notice my quotes around the word Christian, because my thought has long been that the most outspoken “Christians” are the least Christ-like. I don’t and can’t blame Christianity for this ignorance, rather that weak and hateful people shield themselves behind their “faith” in order to excuse their prejudice.
Think for a moment all of the “Christian” time and money spent on trying prevent gay couples from being able to marry or adopt children. Think about them not trying to meddle into private familial decisions concerning women’s reproductive rights. Instead, think of all of that time and money being used to provide food and shelter to the homeless, or to aid a battered women’s shelter. Imagine if they used their time and energy for causes that promoted positivity and growth as opposed to just repression and trying to control how others’ lead their lives.
If there is a God, and I believe there is, I believe he would want to find a way to bring people… all different kinds of people… to his table, not figure out way to turn people away.
Many have turned away from the Church, choosing to label themselves spiritual, not religious. Maybe they have the right idea. I’m not at that point yet and who knows if I will get there, but I certainly understand the inclination.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Lucky in love.
I was once said of my maternal Grandparents that my grandfather loved my grandmother so much that if she wanted a pet hippopotamus, my grandfather would have found a way to get her one. It’s a pretty silly analogy ofcourse but the sentiment behind it is pretty profound.
I was told that as a teenager and I remember thinking that I’d never know love like that. Boy was I wrong. I give thanks every day for him and for the family we've become. I've truly never know a love like this. And while my love would probably prefer something with a nice 'animal print'.... I'd move heaven and earth to get him a hippopotamus.
I was told that as a teenager and I remember thinking that I’d never know love like that. Boy was I wrong. I give thanks every day for him and for the family we've become. I've truly never know a love like this. And while my love would probably prefer something with a nice 'animal print'.... I'd move heaven and earth to get him a hippopotamus.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
If they only knew.
The funny thing about waiting to adopt is that once you’re officially in the ‘waiting’ stage, suddenly everyone you know is pregnant. I don’t begrudge anyone of happiness but it’s hard sometimes when I look at people that have no business having children (who don’t have the means to provide for them) but still have baby after baby…
Doing collections, I often talk to people who have 4, 5, 6 kids and another on the way and laugh about not even knowing how their going to feed “this one”. It breaks my heart to hear that. When I see a 15yo girl pushing a crying baby in a stroller and she’s too busy talking on her cellphone and smoking to tend to her… I get angry. So many people just have no clue how lucky they are to be able to say “Oops… I made a baby”. What an amazing thing that must be to be able to say.
I was on an adoption blog the other day and a woman was going off about Elton John and his partner having a baby. Now between you and I, I don’t necessarily think anyone having a baby in their 60’s, regardless of sexuality is a great idea, but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, this woman was going off about gay families and how a family with 2 dads deprives children of having both a mother & a father.
I hate that argument because it is such a slap in the face to not only all the gay and lesbian parents out there but also to all of the single parents as well. How many people are raised by single moms and grow up to be incredible people… And so many of the gay parents I know are truly incredible parents because they had to work and struggle so much just to become parents.
Children need love. Children need stability and security. They need bedtime stories, and trips to the zoo, they need sandcastles and family barbecues. They need a family… Regardless of the genders of the people that make up that family. I just cannot wait until we have that.
Doing collections, I often talk to people who have 4, 5, 6 kids and another on the way and laugh about not even knowing how their going to feed “this one”. It breaks my heart to hear that. When I see a 15yo girl pushing a crying baby in a stroller and she’s too busy talking on her cellphone and smoking to tend to her… I get angry. So many people just have no clue how lucky they are to be able to say “Oops… I made a baby”. What an amazing thing that must be to be able to say.
I was on an adoption blog the other day and a woman was going off about Elton John and his partner having a baby. Now between you and I, I don’t necessarily think anyone having a baby in their 60’s, regardless of sexuality is a great idea, but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, this woman was going off about gay families and how a family with 2 dads deprives children of having both a mother & a father.
I hate that argument because it is such a slap in the face to not only all the gay and lesbian parents out there but also to all of the single parents as well. How many people are raised by single moms and grow up to be incredible people… And so many of the gay parents I know are truly incredible parents because they had to work and struggle so much just to become parents.
Children need love. Children need stability and security. They need bedtime stories, and trips to the zoo, they need sandcastles and family barbecues. They need a family… Regardless of the genders of the people that make up that family. I just cannot wait until we have that.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Three months later...
While reading a friends blog this morning, I realized that I haven’t blogged in months. It was early October to be exact… It’s funny because from mid-October until this past weekend is the time of year I actually had / have a lot going on.
On October 9th, Ron and I got married. It was an amazing day. We got to stand in our Church in front of our friends, our family and God and commit our lives to one another. It was a beautiful ceremony and was more than we could have hoped for. Afterwards we partied at the Country Club with a live Sinatra Impersonator during cocktail hour followed by dinner and dancing. It wasn’t the most opulent wedding ever, but it was *us*.
We spent a week at Disney. We stayed in the Park, which was lots of fun. I’d never stayed in the park before. We explored the Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Epcot and Universal Studios. The Disney Parks are so gay friendly. When we got to our resort we were greeted with excitement and “Just Married” pins that we wore to all the parks all week. We had a wonderful time.
Halloween was great. We do Halloween right in our house. We love the old black and white scary movies. We hosted a murder mystery dinner with some good friends. We did the usual Halloween outings, like the Pumpkin Picking at Shadybrook Farm and the haunted hayride at Eerie Acres. The house was covered in purple & orange lights and jack-o-lanterns.
We hosted Thanksgiving for both of our immediate families. Ron cooked his first big holiday meal and he did an amazing job. Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, glazed carrots, pineapple stuffing, sausage stuffing… and ofcourse my mother greenbean casserole… which is really more cheese than greenbeans. It was a nice day and a great way to kickoff the Christmas Season.
Christmas 2010 was wonderful… We decorated the house more than ever… Everyoine said you could see the house from space. We did all of our annual Christmas time trips, like Peddlers Village, our trip through the Shady Brook Farm lightshow, a trip downtown to see Macy’s lightshow and Dickens Village… and we saw the Gay Men’s Choir Christmas Concert. I could go on and on… Christmas Eve was spent with Ron’s family and his friend Dara and her daughter Da’nessa. Christmas day was spent with my family. We also got to spend some time with half of my family whom I hadn’t really spoken to in quite a while. It was really nice to spend time with everyone.
On New years Eve we usually go to the Melting Pot for dinner and then just watch the ball drop in our PJ’s but this year we went to a family party and had cocktails and dinner with great friends. It was a nice change of pace and a great way to kick off 2011.
On January 21st I turned 32. I used to dread my birthday because it goes hand in hand with the inevitability on ‘getting older’. Now though, I am just so happy with life that I can’t wait to see what the coming year holds for me. I hope and pray that this year we will have a child and add to the beautiful family that I am part of. This year I hope to spend more time with friends, entertaining and building memories. I want to take more daytrips and have more adventures. I want to reconnect with family that from whom relationships have been strained.
Mostly though, I hope this year echoes many of the same themes from the last couple years… Curling up under a blanket with his head on my shoulder watching old movies… giggling at the drive in theatre watching movies that as ‘adults’ we really shouldn’t be THAT amused by, talking endlessly at the diner with cup after cup of coffee / tea, finishing eachothers sentences while taking long walks around the neighborhood, and getting eachother when know one else does…
On October 9th, Ron and I got married. It was an amazing day. We got to stand in our Church in front of our friends, our family and God and commit our lives to one another. It was a beautiful ceremony and was more than we could have hoped for. Afterwards we partied at the Country Club with a live Sinatra Impersonator during cocktail hour followed by dinner and dancing. It wasn’t the most opulent wedding ever, but it was *us*.
We spent a week at Disney. We stayed in the Park, which was lots of fun. I’d never stayed in the park before. We explored the Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Epcot and Universal Studios. The Disney Parks are so gay friendly. When we got to our resort we were greeted with excitement and “Just Married” pins that we wore to all the parks all week. We had a wonderful time.
Halloween was great. We do Halloween right in our house. We love the old black and white scary movies. We hosted a murder mystery dinner with some good friends. We did the usual Halloween outings, like the Pumpkin Picking at Shadybrook Farm and the haunted hayride at Eerie Acres. The house was covered in purple & orange lights and jack-o-lanterns.
We hosted Thanksgiving for both of our immediate families. Ron cooked his first big holiday meal and he did an amazing job. Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, glazed carrots, pineapple stuffing, sausage stuffing… and ofcourse my mother greenbean casserole… which is really more cheese than greenbeans. It was a nice day and a great way to kickoff the Christmas Season.
Christmas 2010 was wonderful… We decorated the house more than ever… Everyoine said you could see the house from space. We did all of our annual Christmas time trips, like Peddlers Village, our trip through the Shady Brook Farm lightshow, a trip downtown to see Macy’s lightshow and Dickens Village… and we saw the Gay Men’s Choir Christmas Concert. I could go on and on… Christmas Eve was spent with Ron’s family and his friend Dara and her daughter Da’nessa. Christmas day was spent with my family. We also got to spend some time with half of my family whom I hadn’t really spoken to in quite a while. It was really nice to spend time with everyone.
On New years Eve we usually go to the Melting Pot for dinner and then just watch the ball drop in our PJ’s but this year we went to a family party and had cocktails and dinner with great friends. It was a nice change of pace and a great way to kick off 2011.
On January 21st I turned 32. I used to dread my birthday because it goes hand in hand with the inevitability on ‘getting older’. Now though, I am just so happy with life that I can’t wait to see what the coming year holds for me. I hope and pray that this year we will have a child and add to the beautiful family that I am part of. This year I hope to spend more time with friends, entertaining and building memories. I want to take more daytrips and have more adventures. I want to reconnect with family that from whom relationships have been strained.
Mostly though, I hope this year echoes many of the same themes from the last couple years… Curling up under a blanket with his head on my shoulder watching old movies… giggling at the drive in theatre watching movies that as ‘adults’ we really shouldn’t be THAT amused by, talking endlessly at the diner with cup after cup of coffee / tea, finishing eachothers sentences while taking long walks around the neighborhood, and getting eachother when know one else does…
10~9~2010
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