Calling all angels

I belong to a lot of adoption groups on facebook. The moderators of the groups often pose different questions about birthmothers who choose to place their children for adoption as well as women who choose abortion. There are always a slew of nasty, sexist comments from a lot of adoptive parents.

I have seen people refer to birth moms as sluts, whores, dirtballs, etc. all because these women were faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Then the women who choose to abort are labeled as murderers. I just don’t get it. These are people who wouldn’t be able to be parents if not for the miracle of adoption yet they choose to vilify the very women who have given them the most precious gift in the world.

Maybe they are threatened because these women could make life and they couldn’t. I don’t know. I only know that when the day comes and we are parents, that our birth mom will be an angel to us.



It’s funny to be both pro-choice and also waiting to adopt. I might be a man, but I still consider myself a feminist. I fully believe in a woman’s right to choose. It is funny though because obviously with Adoption being pretty much a numbers game, that if there were less abortions performed, there would be more children placed for adoption, thus our journey to adoption would likely be much shorter.
I still recognize the importance of choice, but I nonetheless see the irony in the situation as well.

You belong among the wildflowers...

I haven’t blogged in a while. We’ve been really busy with exciting wedding stuff and just day to day life.

My thoughts are kind of all over the place today with things that I’ve recently said to myself “I should blog about that.”

A couple weeks ago I was headed to Walmart on Rt 38 in Cherry Hill. This is a crappy Walmart (is there such thing as a good Walmart?) but it’s the one that’s closest to the house. As you pull into this Walmart there is a large plot of undeveloped land that is usually covered in weeds. I always complain about how they ‘could atleast attempt to make it look nice by mowing the damn thing’. I digress…

Anyway, this time there was an old beat up station wagon pulled off to the side and an older eccentric looking woman was making her way around the field. She was holding something in her hand. As I got closer to her I realized she was holding a bouquet of flowers. Thick green stems with large white blooms… She was hunting through this mess of weeds gathering wildflowers.

I am sad to say that at first I mocked her in my head… What a weirdo I thought. Then I stopped for a moment and thought about how different I was from her. Then it hit me. I pass this plot of weeds every week and every week I bitch about them and I think about what an eyesore it is. This woman drove by it and instead of seeing just an eyesore.. she saw beauty. She saw these white polka-dots of wildflowers that most people probably completely overlook.

I used to be the kind of person who would have seen the pretty polka-dots.. and maybe even have stopped for them. Somehow I have lost that over the years. I hope that in recognizing what I’ve lost.. I can try to find it again.