I will...

I will never understand most people

I will likely always feel like an outsider looking in

I will always be a kid at heart

I will speak up as often as possible about glbt equality and the lack there of

I will always be frugal (frugal sounds nicer than cheap)

I will always love him... always.

I will likely always be misunderstood

I will always rely too heavily on the principle of a matter

I will always fight with my mother

I will always wish I finished college

I will always be a family man

I will refuse to believe that grunge is dead

I will always be awkward socially

I will always march to the beat of my own drum

Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes.

I'm not one for sensorship, I am however a fan of political correctness. I don;t see anything wrong with expecting people to be sensitive towards others and trying to watch what they say out of respect for someone else. I don't claim to be perfect. There is a lot in our everyday society that is just inherently sexist, homophobic, racist.. that I think it's easy to slip up with the little things. The bigger things however, I think are on us to use our common sense to know what is not appropriate.

My thoughts today are on the word faggot. I hate this word. This is a word that after I was outed in highschool that I heard and saw quite a bit. Also having done more glbt advocacy stuff when I was younger that word was thrust in my direction more times than I can count.

Now as adult, I have no quams about voicing my objections a little louder and with a little more anger.

This was a word that I have had to slowly and painstakingly educate my place of work was not an appropriate thing to throw around the office , even if you "don't mean it THAT way". I think this word will haunt me for a long time to come. While some might say it's just a word.. and don't give it power.. I say that this word is killing children and teenagers like me who face harrassment every day. This word must die.

This past weekend, when we were taking a break from some neverending yardwork we were flipping around the channels. We stopped on a movie Bad News Bears. This was evidently a remake. This was on in the middle of the day on TBS.. Two minutes into watching, a child on a the little league team was throwing around the word faggot at his opposing team. These were kids openly using this word during daytime tv, on TBS. wth?? I googled the movie and evidently it's chop full of moderately racist, homophobic and mysoginistic language. Why would a network who I understand to mostly air mainstream family type programs find this acceptable.

Then Sunday night we turned on the tv for a few minutes before bed and the tv was already on LOGO. Too lazy to get up at the moment we left on Ru Paul's Drag Race (quality programming I assure you.. ok, well not really). Anyway, 2 minutes into that one of these queens is throwing around the word faggoty to describe another contestants behavour. Then it struck me, if our communitsy shows the rest of the world that this language is ok to use, then why would straight America not use it. Don't we as glby people have a responsibility to educate and promote sensitivity towards other glbt'ers? I was so mad.

A couple months ago the movie came out called The Hangover. Everyone I knew went on and on about what a funny movie this was and how we had to watch it. SO, we ordered it through comcast on demand one night. 10 minutes into the movie they used the word faggot atleast 10-20 times. Now, how do people in my life not know that not only should they not be recommending this movie to me? But also that telling me how wonderful this movie is pretty disrespectful. Imagine a movie being filled with the 'N word' and then recommending it to an African American friend? I just don't get it.

I think glbt people do have a responsibility... A responsibilty to carry ourselves with respect and treat eachother in a matter that we'd like to be treated by the rest of society..

Ramblings of a homebody

I am not the most social of people, thus it’s hard to make / meet new friends. I would really like to expand our / my circle. Ron has a lot of straight girlfriends. I have friends of my own too, just not as many as I used to. We don’t have many couple friends as I would like. I’d really like to change that but (speaking for myself) how does someone who is predominantly a homebody meet new people?

I am not a hermit mind you. I like dining out, going to the movies, museums, mini-golf, game nights; most things that I am supposed to be too young to enjoy. I am 31.. Ron is 30. Everyone out age either has young children and spends their time with their families (understandably), or wants to bar / club hop their weekends away. I hate bars, and don’t really drink. I hate the whole bar scene. It’s so not me.

I have always had a hard time making new friends because it feels like I’m never what I am ‘supposed’ to be. I’ve felt that way most of my life. As a child I had school friends and home friends because I went to school in a different area of the city from where I lived. The kids at home also went to school together, and the kids at school also lived around eachother. I think it was harder to form bonds with people because I was back and forth between (what seemed like) 2 different worlds. I felt like an outsider no matter where I was.

In highschool, my family moved to NJ.. I went from being a city kid surrounded by other working class families to a suburban NJ area with a lot of kids who grew up with silver spoons in their mouths. I made friends, some that I still have but I always felt an armslength away because I didn’t grow up with these kids, like they all did with eachother. I was still an outsider.

Even now.. in work for example.. I do a different job than all of the other Collectors. I am not one of the mainstream collectors. I also haven’t been doing this for 20 years and haven’t worked at other companies with my coworkers like many of them have with eachother. I have friends here, but more acquaintances. I don’t go to the beef and beers that someone here always seems to be hosting (not putting them down, just not my thing).

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for my life or for those that I am lucky enough to have in it. I have and have had some grade A, quality peeps in my life. As I delve further into my 30’s though I feel like it’s time to branch out a bit. Someone needs to invent a personal ad site for individuals or couples who are just looking to make new friends.

Survery I was tagged for

I finally figured out how to copy and paste! Yay!

1. If you read/watch the Twilight Saga, are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? If you don't read/watch Twilight, why not?
Didn't read them.. Did watch the movies. I don't understand the hype. Lost Boys was way better.

2. If you were a color, what color would you be today?
Blue... I am sleepy today and blue seems like a sleepy color. Plus it's patriotic for the 4th of July

3. The top 2 most populated cities in the US are New York and Los Angeles. If you had to choose to live in one of them, which one would you choose? Why?
I'd prefer neither. I wouldnt want to live anywhere that congested. If I had to pick one I guess it would be NY. Atleast there is more culture there.. museums and such.

4. What is your favorite thing about Summer?
The Ocean City Boardwalk

5. How do you drink your coffee? Black? One sugar? Or, if you don't drink coffee, what is your drink of choice?
I don;t drink coffee. I am a tea fiend though.

6. Are you a dog or cat person, or both? Why? Or, do you prefer a snake?
I like all animals. I am not a huge fan of my own.. they are all pains in the ass. Someone is always pooping somewhere they shouldn't and if that's not happenning then there is a cat leaving a hairball somewhere.

7. What do you think of mimes? Do they make you laugh, or freak you out?
Are there still mimes? I have never seen one in person.

8. Who is your favorite artist? Why? VanGogh... I love starry night.I know it's cliche.. but I do.

Here are my questions for the next 8 bloggers:

1. Are your looks deceiving? yes. people say I can looks mean and scary but I am a nice boy
2. What are you currently reading? Nothing. Looking for my next book.
3. Are you for same sex marriage? Why or why not? Duh! Marriage for all.
4. Lemonade or Ice Tea? Nantucket Nectars Half and half is my fave!
5. A favorite dish or baked item you love to prepare for your family or friends? I love making hamburger casserole and turkey croquettes. yum!
6. Do you take vitamins daily? Why or why not? no.
7. Would you rather live on a farm or in the city? a farm with occasional adventures into the big city.
8. Who would win...Wonder Woman or She-Ra Princess of Power...in a fight? She-Ra.. Wonder woman just got a makeover and now she looks lame.